An individual does not get cancer,
a family does.


New mom to Oliver; born 03/03/2014. Engaged to his daddy, Michael, as of my first mother's day: 05/11/2014. Diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called liposarcoma on 04/21/2014 after surgery that was supposed to involve removing a benign tumor; surprise! Not benign. This is my life, my daily struggle. I try to tag things involving my treatment or cancer in general with the following: cancer, chemo, chemotherapy. I talk about it a lot so if that bothers you, you know what to blacklist or whatever. When I'm feeling up to it, I try to mix in some pretty pictures in my queue.

I complain a lot.

I'm not always all that predictable. So here you go. Take your warning and run.

Used to be impulseswild.
06:48
Depo shot and chemo.

I honestly believe the depo shot is helping me with the chemo. I’ve had 4 rounds of chemo, soon to have my fifth. The first two were awful but the last two have mostly been fine. I still get super tired and weak but I have an appetite. I know the depo shot for a lot of people causes a crazy increase in appetite. I think it is beating the chemo and causing me to want to eat. Maybe I’m just crazy for thinking that but I don’t know. I was expecting the worst for the depo shot and yet so far it has just been perfect for me. I just recently got my second shot. I don’t have any spotting or period but that is probably more because of the chemo bringing on, usually temporary, menopause (I just kind of hope it isn’t permanent but at the same time I don’t know if I want to risk having more kids). My depression hasn’t increased which is pretty fucking amazing considering I have cancer and might die within the next five years. Just, none of the bad side effects other than appetite which for me is a good thing right now. And I only have to get it once every 3 months. And my gynecologist is so awesome that she wants to make it even easier for me and I can get it when I’m in the hospital! She wrote out an order for it so that they can give it to me instead. This last time fell on when I was getting chemo so I had to get it a week ‘late’. It was still fine but kind of a pain. Having to see yet another doctor is difficult for me. So it was awesome of her to put money aside and be like “hey, I’ll make things easier for you, no problem.” That place may annoy me with little things but the doctors there have done so much for me. And I’m one satisfied person of many disappointed of the depo shot. So yeah, don’t always listen to the negative. Every person is different.

20:03
I hate contrast dye.

At least it hasn’t hit me until now, though. I got to go swimming first.

12:44
Ants in our bathroom.

Why in the world are they in our bathroom? There was a single ant in our kitchen. The rest have been in the bathroom. I just don’t understand.

06:40 awwww-cute:

This Fox was found sleeping inside a parked city bus in my hometown
05:20
04:00"you know you’re fucked when those late night thoughts start hitting you in the middle of the day" —

(Source: i-do-it-for-the-lesbians, via tall)

02:40 0ce4n-g0d:

Whale Shark - Quintana Roo, Mexico | Ai Angel Gentel
01:20

nakedly:

just reminding everyone i have an ask box

(via mellamocassie)

23:07
Oh! And Midnight let me pet her!

Midnight is one of my in-laws’ cats and I’ve been trying so hard to get her to trust me and let me pet her. Today she did and she purred! I was so excited. I miss Simba. He was one of their other cats that has a wonky ear. Now he goes back and forth between their neighbors and their house so he is rarely around. He doesn’t like many people but he liked me. Nickie is their last cat. I’ve yet to pet him but he is around less than Simba. One day though, one day. Seriously, I love cats. I love dogs too but no one has them. Horses too. Any animal really. Cats are just popular.

22:49
Yesterday I finished Side Effects by Amy Goldman Koss.

I want to read If I Stay by Gayle Forman but I don’t have a light to read by. :(